Sikaman Awards 2020

Compiled by Nana Awere Damoah

Contributors: Reuelah Addae-Mensah, Samuel Fahren Otoo, Theo Osei, Nii Okai, Seth Bokpe

This year’s Awards were sponsored by GHBasket.com, WearGhana, Booknook.store, Chopbox Express, Buelandland Flowers, Queens of Hats, Kasuwah.store, Beulahland Floral Products & Services, Horseman Shoes, Smino Detergents and Meannan Foods.

This year’s Awards are dedicated to the memory of my friends Sena Dey and Kotei Neequaye and to all our loved ones who departed in 2020.

1. Losses of the Year: Too many to count. When we reflect back on 2020, deaths will be one of the key highlights, with some high profile names: nationally, globally and personally. 2020 opened with the death of Koby Bryant and Nana Akwasi Agyeman (Okumkom) and ended with the death of ex-President Jerry John Rawlings and Maradona. Also everyone experienced a close loss. May the departed souls rest in perfect peace.
2. Most Significant Event of the Year: The global pandemic of Covid-19. It affected the world like nothing has in the past 100 years.
3. Sikamanians of the Year: Our Health Care providers – doctors, nurses, pharmacists, researchers at Noguchi and associated labs – all the frontline health professionals. In the year when few could travel abroad for medical services under Covid, they rallied and saved us all. We thank them!
4. Yɛ-Wɔ-Kromers of the Year: The Manufacturing Sector, particularly how they got together and got into new production areas such as producing face masks, hand sanitizers and other hygiene products to combat Covid. Also, institutions and innovators who produces ventilators, automated hand wash machines, etc. Kudos also to the Ghana Standards Authority and Food & Drugs Authority on how they rejigged their approval processes to fast track. Also, food manufacturers and farmers for sustaining us all!
5. Most Popular Sikamanian: Mrs Jean Mensah, the Electoral Commissioner. She got pundits for managing to organise a new Voters register in a Covid year and for a smooth voting day, and then got chewed for the collation and the aftermath wahala.
6. Seetay Waa Moment of the Year: When the price of face shields, which were selling at a high of GHS50 each at a point, dropped so drastically to 3 for GHS10 and some selling them for GHS1. This dropped at a time when late adopter-entrepreneurs, seeking to cash in, had tonnes of them still on the high seas and at the ports, awaiting clearance. My friend Yuri says it is yet another case of an item travelling along the curve of boiling beans to a zenith of fart.
7. “Sɛ Asa” Moment of the year (an event that finally happened after a long time of expectation or postponements or uncertainty): In 2020, the CPP became what we have suspected for so long – a joke!
8. DaySpringer of the Year: Sarkodie. He was awarded by Dr. UN.
9. Dayspring Institution of the Year: Sir Wyclef Kwame Owusu Fordjour. This man, Dr UN, is an institution by himself and we recognise him as such.
10. Most Used Word: Quarantine.
11. New Word of the Year: Covid/Corona
12. Most Used Number: 19
13. Most Popular Expression: Fellow Ghanaians
14. Action Word of the Word: Zoom. It was used as a noun, verb, adjective and everything else. Even as a venue, as in: Where is the meeting taking place? Answer: Zoom!
15. Election Word of the Year: Flipped. Our media houses show they really watched CNN, Fox and Trump Twitter. Flipping blue, flipping green, flip, flop, lollipop.
16. Most Misused Word: Pulled, for Polled. With all those votes pulled here and pulled here and there, I even felt for the votes.
17. CSR of the Year: Ghana Covid-19 Private Sector Fund building of 100-bed Infectious Disease Centre in record time. It showed us what we can do together.
18. Tracker of the Year: Covid-19 Tracker. Did it really work or we just didn’t use it?
19. Video Model of the Year: Uncle Ken the Dapper. After the premiere of the video, he reviewed the security settings of his national phone.
20. Rumour of the Year: I heard something this year that got me in stitches. My fellow Nana R.A. Yurigani informed me that it was rumoured that the Supreme Leader of Western Togoland registered for his Voter’s ID. This still remains a rumour.
21. Trumpish Covid Statement of the Year: Akua Donkor disputes the existence of Covid.
22. Fight of the Year: Top contenders are Ken vs Obinim, Ken vs Tracey and Tracey vs Mzbel. The EC is still collating the results at the time of going to press. It may end up at the Supreme Court.
23. Constituency of the Year: Ayawaso West Wougon
24. Sports Newscaster of Year: Akwasi Boadi Akrobeto, aka Who Nose Tomorrow. He went viral with his reading of results of the top European leagues and ended up on Spanish TV and with his video being retweeted by leading footballers across the world.
25. Book of the Year: Working with Rawlings. Sold like political promises. Even those who had hardly read any book since leaving school got copies, just to partake in the “Have you heard?” A number of these neo-bibliophiles read only portions they heard being discussed on air or on social media.
26. Fashion Icon of the year: Osebo The Zaraman!
27. Gaze of the Year: I hope in years to come we can still have this picture of the Ogyacious lady confronting the Police and going spiritual on them. Most people call her ‘Deddy’.
28. Campaign Song of the Year: “Okada” – Mahama Cartoon Song/Video. Danceable tune, awesome video!
29. Political Return of the year: Bede Ziedeng
30. Most Silent Politician: Uncle ABS, Oko Rokzay
31. Quarantine Diaries Author of the Year: Nana Yaw Koranteng. He gave us great insights during his 2 weeks of mandatory quarantine during the early months of Covid and got us all hooked on his stories.
32. Court Ruling Interpreter of the Year: General Mosquito, SCI
33. Practical Science Teacher of the Year: Sir Greenstreet of Redcockville. He got the entire Sikaman feeling the Electric Shock.
34. New Mathematical Term of the Year: Flatten the Curve
35. Subject of the Year: Mathematics. We all got mathematical, with R nought, finding out peaks, flattening curves and counting cases. The curve must be flattened, the curve must be flattened…and yet you don’t even understand dy/dx, cumulative frequency graphs and line graphs. When we said mathematics is life, you said the mathematics you learnt was never used in later life. See your life? By the end of the year, Mathematics came to the fore again with the Election results and collation. Maths is life!
36. Short-Lived Achievement of the Year: Accra being the Cleanest City in Africa. When we were all locked down, it was achieved. When we were released, it was back to square one. Default position!
37. Quarantinee of the Year: Mr “I am a Science Student”
38. Boys Abrɛ Leader of the Year: Akwasi Trump
39. Accessory of the Year: Face Mask
40. Safety Signage of the Year: Electric shock
41. UN Peace Prize of the Year: Fomena Treaty, which is still being discussed. But the lesson still stand. According to my UST roommate Seth Attram-Danso, if you are tempted to be nasty to someone you disagree with, remember the Fomena Treaty.
42. Political Loss of the Year: Dr Okoe Boye of Ledzokuku
43. Industry of the Year: E-Commerce. Under lockdown, many people turned to online service to provide food, books, drinks and more.
44. Occupation of the Year: Courier service rider
45. Most Attended Meeting: Zoom meetings. We all discovered that we can dress and put on perfume for even online meetings.
46. Most Downloaded New App: Zoom
47. Resignation of the Year: Special Akwasi Peter’s reversion to Citizen Vigilante. He said he was nearly corrupted by a mother serpent so he is now even wary of ropes.
48. Overtaker of the Year: Christian Kwabena Andrews, of GUM. He overran the shocked Akokɔ Kɔkɔɔ and all the coughing of Ayarigated contestants and got stuck like a gum to the 3rd spot during the Elections.
49. Boiling Beans Team of the Year: Arsenal. Dada noaaa!
50. Proven Theorem of the Year: The 24-Hour (Thawing) Rule. The 24-hour thawing time rule as stated “For Ghana news, always allow 24-hour thawing time. GH news changes much in its first 24 hours.”
51. Escape of the Year: Former CEO of Nissan Carlos Ghosn’s daring escape to Lebanon. Now, that was some thinking out of the box, escaping in a box. He allegedly used a team of mercenaries posing as musicians to smuggle him out of the country in an instrument case.
52. Artist of the Year: Moh Awudu
53. Occupier of the Year: Manasseh Azure Awuni. His report led to the resignation of the Public Procurement Authority (PPA) Boss.
54. Most Generous Governmental Agency (also CSR Organization of the Year): GETFund. They even gave study abroad scholarships to people who said they never received them and had never travelled.
55. Goof of the Year: The President endorsing Nii Lante Vanderpuye instead of Nii Lante Bannerman at an NPP rally for the Odododiodio seat. When the mistake was pointed out to the President, he uttered the famous word “M’anka no yie koraaaa!”
56. Date Configuration of the Year: BC and AC – Before Covid and After Covid
57. Admin of the Year: This award goes to the Admin of the Twitter Account of Accra Great Olympics. Oly Dade, Oly Fomena MP, Oly Quarantine! Oly Vaccine!
58. Tourists of the Year: All of us. We became domestic tourists. Travelled from bedroom to sitting room. To bathroom and then to kitchen. And back to sitting room. Multiple times.
59. Political Discovery of the Year: African leaders can govern without travelling.
60. Pet of the Year: Kofi the Kraman, of the Australian High Commission. His godfather is Selorm of SeloArt who is working on a signboard to announce this award.
61. Hushed Influencer of the Year: Ray Hushpuppi” who flaunted his Rolls Royces, fancy watches and designer clothing on Instagram, arrested on money laundering conspiracy charges in Dubai and repatriated to the United States.
62. By-Force Leaver of the Leaver: Auditor-General Daniel Yao Domelevo. He spent the time exchanging letters with Jubilee. Now compiling them into a book. Working title: Dɔm La Va, Kplɛ Dɔm La Leave. Don’t ask me the language. It is Lat-Ewe.
63. Callous Walkabout of the Year: Walk by Carlos, with Covid in tow. That was careless.
64. Logo of the Year: Round-rimmed spectacles. Nicknamed Fellow Ghanaians. Adopted as Round 2 logo by the ruling NPP
65. Deal of the year: Agyapa. It bred a serpent from Special Kwesi Peter’s pen.
66. Legal Personality of the Year: Dennis Seyram Benson, arrested for acting as a lawyer for the supposed Western Togoland. A fake lawyer representing a fake country – a match made for the court.
67. Diplomat of the Year: Gregory Andrews, the Australian High Commissioner. He took to Ghana like wele to waakye, and used walkabouts and social media to engage a lot. Also used his page to promote small Ghanaian businesses. A breath of fresh air!
68. Musician of the Year: AY Poyoo. He’s the GOAT! He trended madly and got featured on BBC koraa. What else do you want from a GOAT? The YouTube video of his famous song I am the Goat garnered over 1.7 million views. He just released the sequel, titled…I am The Goatest. Of course!
69. New Country of the Year: Kumerica
70. Quarantine DJ of the Year: Ekow Fisho. He really got folks dancing with his Music for your Quarantine Feet
71. Video Clip of the Year: Interview by Citi FM of a lady during lockdown, at Chorkor. “We are dying for Choooorkor!”
72. Daddy of the Year: CKA Howard. A further title of International Uncle is hereby gazetted and conferred on him. All should note!
73. Advert of the Year: Vodafone Vodafone Cash TV ad (Red News) with Akrobetu and Adwenkesie
74. Best Dressed Female of the Year: Rasheeda Adams
75. Chief Mischief Officer (CMO) of the Year: Blaqq Qouphy
76. Male Journalist of the Year: Caleb Kudah
77. Female Journalist of the Year: Nana Aba Anamoah
78. Writer of the Year: Eben Ace (Ebenezer Ace Kojo Sarfsch)
79. Female Facebooker of the Year: Abena Magis
80. Male Facebooker of the Year: Se Lorm