Booknook Store Bestseller List – 2018 (May to December 2018)

  1. Ananse and the Food Pot – https://booknook.store/product/ananse-and-the-food-pot/
  2. Birthday Zoo – https://booknook.store/product/birthday-zoo/
  3. Ananse and the Pot of Wisdom – https://booknook.store/product/ananse-and-the-pot-of-wisdom/
  4. Bempong’s House – https://booknook.store/product/mr-bimpongs-house/
  5. Escalator – https://booknook.store/product/escalator/
  6. The Baobab Tree of Salaga – https://booknook.store/product/the-boabab-tree-of-salaga/
  7. Lami’s Nightmare – https://booknook.store/product/lamis-nightmare/
  8. Uncle Spider’s First Law – https://booknook.store/product/uncle-spiders-first-law/
  9. Grandma’s List – https://booknook.store/product/grandmas-list/
  10. A Saint in Brown Sandals – https://booknook.store/product/asaintinbrownsandals/
  11. Kenkey for Ewes and Other Very Short Stories – https://booknook.store/product/kenkey-for-ewes-and-other-very-short-stories-2/
  12. Besewa and the Honey Pox – https://booknook.store/product/besewa-and-the-honey-pox/
  13. Highlife Time 3 – https://booknook.store/product/highlife-time-3/
  14. Suma Went Walking – https://booknook.store/product/suma-went-walking/
  15. I Speak of Ghana – https://booknook.store/product/i-speak-of-ghana/
  16. A for Accra – https://booknook.store/product/a-for-accra/
  17. Becoming – https://booknook.store/product/becoming/
  18. Recipe for Light Soup – https://booknook.store/product/recipe-for-light-soup/
  19. A Gift for Fafa – https://booknook.store/product/a-gift-for-fafa/
  20. It Takes A Woman – https://booknook.store/product/it-takes-a-woman-pre-order/
  21. Ananse Stories Book Set (5 books) – https://booknook.store/product/ananse-book-set-5-books/
  22. Death and Pain: Rawlings’ Ghana – The Inside Story – https://booknook.store/product/death-and-pain-rawlings/
  23. Of Women and Frogs – https://booknook.store/product/of-women-and-frogs/
  24. Unforgettable: Living a Life That Matters – https://booknook.store/product/unforgettable-living-a-life-that-matters/
  25. The Girl in the New Dress – https://booknook.store/product/the-girl-in-the-new-dress/
  26. Grandma Goody’s Story: From Gold Coast to Ghana – https://booknook.store/product/grandma-goodys-story-from-gold-coast-to-ghana/
  27. Lulu Goes to School – https://booknook.store/product/lulu-goes-to-school/
  28. Who Told the Most Incredible Story: Vol 1 – How Dog’s Nose Became Dark and Other Storieshttps://booknook.store/product/who-told-the-most-incredible-story-vol-1-how-dogs-nose-became-dark-and-other-stories/
  29. Queen of the Night and Other Stories – https://booknook.store/product/queen-of-the-night-and-other-stories/
  30. Once Upon A Time in Ghana – Volume 1 – https://booknook.store/product/once-upon-a-time-in-ghana-volume-i/
  31. A Slim Queen in a Palanquin: Verses and Chants for Childrenhttps://booknook.store/product/a-slim-queen-in-a-palanquin-verses-and-chants-for-children/
  32. Ananse Goes to Britain – https://booknook.store/product/ananse-goes-to-britain/
  33. Is There Not A Cause…to Rant? – https://booknook.store/product/cause-to-rant/
  34. Bukom – https://booknook.store/product/bukom/
  35. A Visit to the City – https://booknook.store/product/a-visit-to-the-city/

Get the full list here: https://booknook.store/shop/page/3/?orderby=popularity&s&post_type=product

*Tracker data from May 2018 to December 2018. Data Source: Book sales information from www.Booknook.store 

Book Nook

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Sikaman Awards 2018

Compiled and Edited by Nana A Damoah

Contributors: Della Rusell Ocloo, Naa Oyoo Kumodzi, Nana Kwesi Anapansu, Kwame Kekeli Bokpe, Francis Dagbah, Theo Osei, Emmanuel Dogbevi

  1. Losses of the Year: Kofi Annan, Atukwei Okai, Justice VCRAC Crabbe, Former Vice President Kwesi Amissah-Arthur, Paapa Yankson, CK Mann, Ebony. The Year 2018 turned out to be a real Grim Reaper. May the departed souls rest in perfect peace.
  2. Sikamanian of the Year: Dr Ashitey Trebi-Ollennu. Let me quote report by the Daily Graphic: “On Monday, November 26, 2018, InSight, a spacecraft belonging to America’s National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) landed on Mars. While this may ordinarily be an American conquest or achievement, Ghanaians have every right to join in the jubilation. This is because at the heart of the historic landing on Mars on Monday is the remarkable work of Ghanaian engineer Dr Ashitey Trebi-Ollennu who is the team lead for InSight at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory.” According to the New York Times, the spacecraft is expected to study the Mars’ underworld, listening for marsquakes and seeking clues about the dusty world’s formation.
  3. Visit of the Year: The visit of Otumfuo Osei Tutu Ababio to Okyehene Amoatia Ofori Panin II, as the Special Guest of Honour at the 75th anniversary of the death of former Okyenhene, Nana Sir Ofori Atta I
  4. Peace Accord of the Year: The compromise agreement by both Andani and Abudu Gates of Dagbon to hold separate funeral rites of two late Dagbon Kings from both the Abudu and Andani Gates – Ya Na Mahamadu Abdulai and Ya Na Yakubu Andani – at the Gbewa Palace and to proceed to the installation of the next Ya Na. Our prayers are with the people of Dagbon and the entire nation that peace shall reign again in that ancient and historic state
  5. Yɛ-Wɔ-Kromer of the Year: Captain Solomon Quainoo, the Ghanaian pilot with Emirates Airlines who flew the biggest passenger aircraft in the world into Kotoka International Airport for the first time. Well, he had a co-pilot, but who cares? Barima Ba!
  6. Most Popular Sikamanian: Nana Appiah Mensah, popularly known as NAM1, boss of Zylofon Media and Menzgold.
  7. Setay Waa Moment of the Year: The rolling out of 50 factories under 1D1F. Or shouldn’t we have 100 by now? I like the new strategy of accrediting exisiting factories, though. All paintey bi paintey.
  8. “Sɛ Asa” Moment of the year (an event that finally happened after a long time of expectation or postponements): The opening of Terminal 3. In the end, there wasn’t really an opening but a landing. Of the Airbus A360. When are we having the official opening of the Terminal 3? Or I missed it?
  9. U-Turn of the Year: The reversion of the ‘Luxury tax’ for GH¢10,000+ income earners, which was announced in the mid-year budget and reversed in the 2019 budget statement. The reversal happened because, for the first time, Members of Parliament saw their salaries reducing like the price of sim cards. Blessed year, when our MPs felt what we feel!
  10. Most Misunderstood Word: Intermittent
  11. Most Influential Word of the Year: Consolidated
  12. Rediscovered Word of the Year: Incompetent. It hit a wall and bounced back to the original users.
  13. New Word of the Year: Intermittent. It is still unstable, like dumsor. It comes and goes and is still being defined and redefined.
  14. Active Verb of the Year: Stand
  15. Publication of the Year: The Lagarde Menu Card
  16. Most Underutilised App of the Year: Ghana Post GPS
  17. Tourist Guide of the Year: Nuerki Atta-Bedu. She really showcased Ghana through the lenses of Brandon of Humans of New York.
  18. Traveller of the Year: Odekuro Tutubrofo Dankwawura
  19. Misrepresentation of the Year: Nana Awere Damoah for Nana [Oppong] Damoah
  20. Statement of the Year: “Social Democracy is not poverty.” (H.E Lord Asiedu Nketiah)
  21. DaySpringer of the Year: Bishop ‘Dr’ Offei of the Riches Theological University College. He conferred an honorary doctorate on himself and then proceeded to confer same on others at the same ceremony. Honoris Causa-rians included the one and only Nii Ayi the Bee.
  22. Popular Brand of the Year: Menzgold
  23. Investors of the Year: Investors of Menzgold. They taya “angasa angasa”. The Sikaman Awards team wishes them a merry Christmas!
  24. Status Symbol of the Year: Hair Conditioners. Remove the ‘h’ if you don’t get it.
  25. Song of the Year: Borbor Li Borbor
  26. Traditional Dish of the Year: Sliced plantain and palava sauce with paya nku.
  27. Spokesperson of the Year: It’s a straight fight between Nana Kofi Oppong Damoah, Ministry of Energy and Mr Robert Cudjoe, aka, “We keep talking”, formerly of Ministry’s of Health.
  28. Citizens (Not Spectators) of the Year: Adenta Residents
  29. Arab Springers of the Year: KNUST Students
  30. Block Manufacturer of the Year (aka Nana Kwame Manasseh Award): Awareness General Francis Kennedy Ocloo, MHLL
  31. Fall of the Year: The one that happened nyamaa on the Nyan Takyi Ridge. We are still normalising its aftermath.
  32. Institutional Fight of the Year: Bank of Ghana vrs Ministry of Communications over mobile money data.
  33. Most Popular Household Item of the Year: Kitchen Stool
  34. Most Rejuvenated Chief: You paaa? Abi you know dada.
  35. Fight of the Year: Ace vs Goldheart and Yvonne Huge vs Frankie Helmani
  36. Occupation of the Year: Former Banker
  37. Assertive Statement of the Year: “God is good, God is good, God is good.”
  38. Dribbler of the Year: The Right To Information Bill. It looks like it has already taken a Comfortable lead into 2019, like a Bull. This RTI, by the time it is revised and revised, we will have, finally, the Right to Permission to Request for Information Law.
  39. Bus Company of the Year: Blay Bus Services (BBS), formed just before the PPN new pillars were erected at Kokomlemle. Where are those buses, by the way?
  40. Bowtie of the Year: The one worn by Agyarko Bee, because it bowed out of ministerial service when it ran out of energy.
  41. Moving target of the Year: When we will all finally get our National Identification Cards. This project has suffered more false starts than the intended expansion of the Tema Motorway into 6-lanes.
  42. The most anti-climax moment of the Year: Ken Shoutapong’s Anas video. It turned out to be a premium version of Cantata, but not featuring Julie Juu.
  43. Practical Demonstration of the Year: When the General showed The Bull what ‘Comfortable lead” really looks like.
  44. Arrest of the Year: Easter Arrest of Koku the Bull. It started with vim and ended with fusssh. The popular grassroot support The Bull got during the arrest deceived him to challenge The Mosquito to a duel. The Mosquito beat him so much The Bull couldn’t even say “Hwɛ me nsɛm mogya!”
  45. Electronic Gadget of the Year: Standing Fan
  46. Political snub of the year: “I don’t respond to presidential aspirants. I’ll respond to candidates.”
  47. Tom and Jerry of the Year: Yvonne Huge and Frankie Helmani
  48. Most Feared Expression of the Year: Panic withdrawal. It left The Moustache twitching.
  49. Most Silent Politician: My favourite Uncle ABS. Y’all know he must surely win something, right? Also, is there a better beard than his? Can he also take the Beard of the Year?
  50. Occupier of the Year: Professor Mawutor Avoke, deposed Vice Chancellor of University of Education, Winneba.
  51. Boardroom Tango of the Year: The tango between the Auditor-General Daniel Yaw Domelevo and his Board Chairman Professor Edward Dua Agyeman.
  52. Intended Project of the Year: The building of the National Cathedral.
  53. Wish of the Year: “Have a good day.” Stated in the letter from the Ministry of Communications to the Bank of Ghana
  54. “Do You Know Who I Am” Incident of the Year: The letter from the Office of the Communications Minister to Secretary of the Bank of Ghana. It stated: “If the Bank of Ghana wishes to communicate with the Minister for Communications on this or any other matter, kindly let the Governor do so.” That’s rammiti! Monkeys move by sizes and dogs bark by breeds, whether local breed (bodom saatwi) or foreign breed.
  55. Back to Sender Deal of the Year: AMERI
  56. The Most African University of the Year: University of Education, Winneba. As a true African institution, just like a country, it has a governing government and a government in opposition.
  57. Secondary School of the Year: Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology. Its Headmaster and Senior Housemasters and Housemistresses are really effective. They even enforce lights out and siesta times.
  58. Commodity of the Year: Aurum Utalium
  59. The Most Valuable Piece of Land in the Year: The land on which Menzgold headoffice stands. There is a lot of gold coins sunk in that place.
  60. Malnourished State Institution of the Year: Special Prosecutor’s Office
  61. Dance of the Year: Chairman Wontumi dancing to Onaapo.
  62. The most consistently inconsistent position on one issue: The Return of Dumsor
  63. Corporate Fight Promoter of the Year: Kelvin DVD. Or isn’t that his name? He caused Ursa to fight with Helmani, Ursa to fight with Sammy G, Ursa to fight with Branko Ghana, Helmani to fight with the world and Teiko to fight with everyone else. Who koraa is this Kelvin? When I asked Rodney Nkrumah-Boateng, all he asked me (a true Sikamanian who answers a question with a question) was this: “Kelvin? Is he NPP or NDC?”
  64. Father and Son Moment of the Year: When Mosquito showed The Bull its real size.
  65. Intermittent Best Friends of the Year: Franklin Cudjoe and Evron Hughes
  66. Hashtagger of the Year: Nuerki Atta-Bedu #whohashtagsepp #nuerkitaughtme #ihadnoideawhateppmeant #metooibeperson #oldmanboggieactinghip #numobɛga
  67. Movie of the Year: #12, by Anas Aremeyaw Anas
  68. It Wasn’t Me Statement of the Year: “I was misled”, said by Odekuro Tutubrofo. As a Christmas gift, a few Citizens (not Spectators) are getting him one of those dresses called “I am Aware”.
  69. High Flying Project of the Year: 1D1B – One Drone, One Blood
  70. A-Merry-Go-Round Deal of the Year: Ameri. In the end, we needed a Minister whose name rhymes with it to handle it.
  71. Reshuffle of the Year: Movement of the Dada from Tankaasi Council where na w’ada dada to the Council where he can shadda and be alert. He looks cool at Terminal 3 mmom.
  72. Nickname of the Year: King Promise
  73. Hashtag/Tagline of the Year: Da Yie! (As used by Prof Kwaku Azar)
  74. Video of the Year: The Futuristic Ad of the World Cup Winning English Football Team
  75. Slogan of the Year: “Football’s Coming Home”
  76. Admission Fees of the Year: 420,000. The Founder of the school had to intervene when the prospective students complained on behalf of themselves. Except for one matured student, who was actually returning for resit so had some surplus from his last school fees.
  77. Parliamentary Debate of the Year: The intellectual intercourse between Big G and The Bee.
  78. Harvest of the Year: Special fundraising in aid of the Bole Yutong Bus. The driver says he is more experienced now, so he will not drive again in first gear for 4 years.
  79. Refuse dump of the Year: NDC and NPP congress grounds.
    The delegates got rich and left behind tonnes of ‘bolts’
  80. Most Popular Animal of the Year: Snakes. They swallowed a lot of JAMB nairas in 2018 in Naija, 36m naira in fact. That’s the equivalent of $100,000 or £72,250
  81. Menu Item of the Year: Editable Flower – the Lagardry type. With tomorrow sauce. Made from Akomadan tomaroes.
  82. Distin of the Year: The TIN.
  83. Boys Abrɛ Coach of the Year (Broni Category): Jose Mourinho aka Respect Respect Respect
  84. Boys Abrɛ Vice Chancellor of the Year: KNUST Vice Chancellor Professor Kwasi Obiri-Danso
  85. Girls Abrɛ Leader of the Year (Broni Category): Theresa May
  86. Boys Abrɛ Leader of the Year (Broni Category): Donald Trump
  87. Girls Abrɛ Leaders of the Year (Bibini Category): PepperDem Ministry Ladies. They held their own in the midst of all the back and forth and they had both fans and opponents. Aluta continua!
  88. Boys Abrɛ Leader of the Year (Bibini Category): Muhammadu Buhari. The Naija folks even aren’t sure he is the real one and are looking for the cloned one. Or is it the real one they are searching for?
  89. Girls Abrɛ Minister of the Year: Ursula Owusu-Ekuful
  90. Boys Abrɛ Minister of the Year: Dr Matthew Opoku Prempeh
  91. Citizen Social Intervention of the Year: 1D1FF – One Day, One Facebook Fight
  92. Promoter of the Year: Se Lorm, the Signmaker
  93. Chief Mischief Officer of the Year: Blaqq Qouphy aka Francis O
  94. Facebooker of the Year (Male): Barnabas Nii Laryea
  95. Facebooker of the Year (Female): Mabel Aku Baneseh

sikamanawards

The Making of the Rants

I have known Ace since I was a teenager. And he was a person many of us as young people looked up to, literally – he was so tall. But we also looked up to him in that he challenged us on many fronts as a leader. More on that someday. Not today.

Today I want to touch on the making of The Rants.

My friend and partner Kofi Akpabli had been dabbling in writing and publishing for years. My first book came out in 2008 and Kofi released his first two books in 2011. From 2011, we started collaborating on book signings and then book readings. We had people approaching us individually to work on developing content, edit, advise on publishing or help get books published. With time, this aspect of our lives was growing and we found ourselves collaborating on publishing too, either on our own works or for others. But it still remained a side job, something we squeezed time for.

In 2017, after half a decade’s sojourn in Alata, I decided to return to Sikaman. In returning, I make a decision to take some time off from my full-time factory job and give some focus on what I considered a pure hobby and passion, to see if it can grow into something significant.

There were a number of people we had listed as candidates for our initial foray into publishing – mainly people who have shared a lot of their thoughts on the socio-political happenings in Sikaman, mainly on blogs and on social media.

I had been chasing and pestering Ace to publish, since 2016. He always threw me off his back, with the quip, “Who would want to read what I write? And buy what – my book?” Vintage Ace, the man who says “gellaway!” when we thank him for his kindness or support, which he gave aplenty. By the way, he launched my first book in 2008, auctioned it and wrote the first long review. And gave me a fat cheque too! Ah, I digress again.

So, he kept dodging me. Then, when I returned home in April 2017, I renewed my chase. In July 2017, I attended the launch of Manasseh Awuni Azure’s first book at the Christ the King Hall in Accra. After the launch, I hitched a ride home with Ace. We drove on the Spintex Road and on the stretch towards the Coca Cola Roundabout, after Ace had asked me what I was doing since I had been home, I told again about the need to get him published and pitched that he should allow us to publish him. Typically, he only laughed and said “gellaway!”

Early the next morning (you all know this man isn’t weak so he doesn’t sleep, right? Sleep is for the weak, he says!), he sent me a message on Whatsapp. “Let’s do it”, the message read.

He was turning 50 in a few months and was already working on a collection of his songs, for his first album which came out as My Yadah. So, he asked that we did a book as well and give both out as gifts on his 50th birthday in November 2017.

Kofi and I were ecstatic! A big vote of confidence! I was to lead on the job. I did the first compilation of Ace’s writings, mostly from his blog, mainly articles on legal issues, written as commentaries on the law and events in Sikaman from the legal angle. It came to over 170,000 words. He says “No, I don’t want my first book to be on the law. Collect my rants on Facebook and let’s see.”

That was the beginning of a rigorous 4-months, compiling the rants, getting his speeches, his poems, editing by Kofi and I and Ace and then more editing. The man teaches editing in the Law School and so we got educated some more about attention to detail.

Deciding on the final book title is a story in itself. I will leave Ace to tell it himself.

Then came the book cover design. I remember being on a bus to Cape Coast for my niece’s graduation late October 2017 and Ace, Kofi, John Benjamin Yanney the book designer (of multiPIXEL) and I, with Coby Asmah (of Type Company, who were to print the books) working on the cover design on WhatsApp and going back and forth on the options, as Ace brought feedback also from his family platform.

Then came the typesetting. We were running for time now as 20th November was fast approaching. I spent one night, a Sunday night, with John Yanney in his office as we worked on the final typeset. Ace was on a plane from London and he was proofreading the initial page proofs and scanning his handwritten edits and sending to John and I in real time. And Kofi was reviewing. On Monday morning the lights in John’s office went off so we relocated to his house and worked till 5pm. We printed the dummy of the book, and I drove straight to Ace’s house to leave it for his final review. Tuesday evening it was ready and it had more edits and more rewrites! John told me, “Tell the man to stop writing!”

We finished the final typeset with a week to go for the party, which had moved to 25th November. The files were sent to Type Company, and Uncle Coby and his team worked on the printing.

We picked up the fresh copies of Is There Not A Cause…to Rant on 24th November 2017 from the Type office, in time for the wrapping for the birthday party the following day, where each guest was given a copy of the book and CD.

Yesterday, Is There Not A Cause…to Rant was adjudged the best non-fiction book at the 2018 Ghana Association of Writers Awards, winning 1st Prize in the Kofi Awoonor Creative Non-Fiction category.

It was exactly a year of the book being in print.

Congrats Ace Kojo Anan Ankomah and thanks for making DAkpabli part of this project.

Isn’t it time to start work on the second book?

Rants hot

Tackling Transitions and Successful Succession in the Ghanaian Church

By Nana Awere Damoah

It wasn’t mere coincidence that I started reading Rev. Dr. Emmanuel Kwabena Ansah’s Keys to Successful Succession in the Lagos State enclave popularly known as ‘Redeemed’, off the Lagos-Ibadan Highway – the huge residential complex owned by the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), Nigeria. The huge expanse, inhabited by mainly members of the church, which also contains the church facilities and auditoriums, is a testament of the vision of its founder and, then, the current leader. We were fortunate to have a tour of the entire area and got to know about the history of the area – how the current General Overseer of the church lived there alone years ago, and how he had a vision that the area would grow and house many people. We visited the original house he lived, the first generator used for the estate, and the various worship sites up to the current one, which is a huge edifice with a footprint 3 kilometers on each side.

Beyond the physical facilities, I was again reminded of the story of the succession which played up when the founder needed to hang over the baton. The state of the church and how it has affected many lives, including having as one of its pastors the current Vice President of Nigeria, reflects how important it is for succession to be successful in churches and para-Christian organisations.

The issue of succession takes assumes an even greater significance when one considers the fact that Ghanaian establishments that have survived beyond their first-generation founders are rare to find. But does the church, which is divinely-ordained and kept, have to worry about its sustenance? Does leadership matter? Does succession matter? Are there bad cases of succession in churches? What is the Bible’s blueprint on ensuring that the mantle and vision are carried on from generation to generation within the body of Christ?

These are the germane issues tackled expertly in Keys to Successful Succession, right from the first pages where the author states clearly that “no matter how great a leader is, there will still come a time when he has to make way for the next generation” (page 1).

The book examines the need for successful succession, drawing extensively from both biblical and non-biblical sources. For the modern-day examples, we are introduced to case studies both in Ghana and abroad. It is said that the best advice is one that the giver has lived and, in this wise, we get educated the more as the author himself shares from his own church’s experience when the mantle had to be passed on after the passing of the ministry’s founder: “…although we had a church constitution, there was no clear provision for an immediate successor” (page 12). The resulting conundrum took a couple of years to untangle.

From this point onwards, the author takes the reader on a journey that is both reflective and proactive, that considers the various types of succession that have been practiced, the concerns about succession in practical terms, identification of successors and preparation, case studies of some selected ministries with discussions of the pros and cons of the various approaches and systems, as well as a dispassionate dissections of the issues and concerns where succession is concerned.
To further examine this most important topic, the Kingdom Equip Network (KEN), made up of individuals and organizations seeking to promote good governance within and among churches, para-church institutions and the society as a whole, is organising the ‘Ekklesia Roundtable Series’, an initiative that brings together clergy, the academia, media, the public and experts in specific fields to build consensus on policy initiatives that enhances the governance of churches and the nation. This year’s theme is ‘Transitions and Succession in the Ghanaian Church’, with the view to offer a one-stop view of the transition and succession policies of denominations in Ghana; identify and address the key factors militating against smooth transitions and succession in Ghanaian denominations and recommend legal and governance strategies to equip denominations in managing their transition and succession programmes better.

It is expected that the output of this roundtable discussion would be a blue print that can used to guide new churches as they develop problem-free transitional and succession policies.

The roundtable discussion will take place at the Ghana Academy of Arts & Sciences, Airport Residential Area, on November 23, 2018 between 8.30 am and 1.30 pm.

All are cordially invited.

Transitions flyer

The Wailer’s Hail

(For the Kadentians)

When wailers wail and wail
And their strength fail
When wailers faint
Patient no more, can’t wait
Rants turn to grunts
Grunts turn to fights
And fights turn to hits
And hit they hit

When wailers wail and faint
Cumulonimbus
Clouds
Go up
Hails
Come down

When wailings go up
Rainmakers must act
Way ahead of wailer’s sleet

When wailers wail
The weatherman
Must not fail
The wailings heed

For the wailer’s wail
Carries the protester’s
Hail

(c) NAD, 081118

Up Atop My Roof So High: Notch 11 ‒ We All Need Dough

This walatu-walasa life is not helping me enjoy my pastime of sitting up atop my roof so high, to watch the watchables, ignore the ignobles, tangibilise the intangibles, reflect on the reflectables and, generally, enjoy the enjoyables in life. This is the reason why you have not heard from me for the past five moons or so. The ko-nea-ba-ing, the to-ing and fro-ing and its concomitant hustling are what is keeping this body inside cloth, as my Eko brothers and sisters would say.

When a new person is welcomed into a home, our elders usually say ‘w’aba a, tinaase’: if you have come, do stay, to translate it loosely. So, I have come, but as to whether I would stay and not vanish again, only time and what is in my pocket now will tell. For, as sure as koose is taken with kooko, if the weight of the cowries in my dzokoto diminishes, I will have to go back to my life of walatu-walasa to make ends meet. For now, as the ends are close to each other and have not started moving away, let me drop what is on my mental plate as quickly as possible.

Ei, where to start from? I am in that state Koo Gyamera was in when he was taken to a buffet table after being rescued from that galamsey pit he was rescued from at Japa, having been imprisoned underground for a week. He didn’t know which food to touch first: ampesi, apeprensa, fufu or kookobintom. He ended up with a headache!

So many things have happened during these five past moons that I don’t know which konkonsa to crack first. Nsempii! However, I have learnt in life that, when confronted with multiple knots to untangle, you tackle the one your hands touch first.

Thirty years ago, just around this month, my History teacher in Ghanacoll, Peter Anti aka Pierro, introduced us to the story of the Boston Tea Party. Pierro was a great teacher who brought history to life, almost as if he was telling stories by the fireside. The Tea Party protest is one of the highlights of American political history. This week had started on a great note and all I can think of is the Need Dough Party. Incidentally, we can twaa Tea with it.

How did it all start? Well, I was sitting atop this roof so high and I saw Papa Frankie Helmani rush into Auntie Ima’s shop by the Kumasi station opposite the Post Office. It was just around the early morning when the serious ones were about leaving for their farms and the lazy ones were stretching to change gears in their sleep. When he came out of the shop, which is also called a supermarket because it has more than three shelves with products labelled with their prices, he was carrying an olonka of refined dinart.

Ah, Dinart! I remember those Rawlings chain days when going for weighing in the polyclinics was more for the tom brown and powdered milk than it was for the welfare of the babies who were supposed to be the focus of the weighing. Oh, tell me about my tom brown school days! If that powdered milk distributed at the clinic was available during the second world war, there would have been no need for the atomic bomb. The powdered milk was good for the mouth, adequate for the stomach, necessary for diluting the contents of the intestines and gaseous in its exiting motion from the orifice down at the rear. Hence the nickname ‘Dinart’, which name explained itself when the first letter of the alphabet was added to the nickname. Gone are the days!

Back to my Need Dough story. As soon as Papa Helmani came out of Auntie Ima’s shop, he waved the refined dinart over his head and started running. I mean, racing. As Teacher Annobil said once on the hills of Menya Mewu, Papa Helmani ran as Zacchaeus did (and I can still remember the entire school intone with him: “And he reeeeein, and Zacchaeus reeeeeiiiin”, imitating how he pronounced ‘ran’!). Papa Helmani ran straight into the house of Amakye the towncrier, who was recovering from the hangover of the previous day, having charged it further when he took in a calabash of cool water from his cooler in the morning. Well, from this roof so high, I don’t know what Papa Helmani gave to Amakye to bring him down from his eternal high, but all I saw was that Amakye exited his house running with Papa Helmani, straight to the village square. By now, a little crowd was following them and wondering what in the name of akati was going on. Trips to farms were immediately postponed as curiosity took the better of all who were already out of their houses. The commotion drew more people out of their beds. Even Twumasi, who was known to sleep like a well-fed python, came out of his house, clutching his sleeping cloth, famed for its ability to cause a full-blocked nose to clear in seconds. The scent!

At the square, Amakye mounted one of the bamboo benches at Mmaa Zenabu’s kooko base and cleared his spirited (read: spirit-influenced) throat and announced:

“Oman frɛ yie! Oman frɛ yie!”

I could hear the response from atop this roof: “Yie mbra!”

“Hear me, all you Sikamanians! Papa Helmani, we all know. He is known far and wide across this village and beyond. His head is like a tank of information and we all know he speaks about his thinking. He says he has been in deep thoughts about the need dough situation in this village and his research led him to Auntie Ima’s shop this morning. Here (and, as if on cue, Papa Helmani waved the olonka of refined dinart over his head) he has his evidence: the price of dinart is rising like an uncontrolled fart and going through the roof. He says a few moons ago he only needed twenty-six cowries to get an olonka but today he had to cough out nearly thirty-five cowries! Papa Helmani says I should say this for all and for Odekuro and his sub-chiefs to know that the price of refined dinart is meaningful because it is linked to the overall state of the Sikaman country. His mouth, through my mouth, has fallen!”

Immediately Amakye finished, there were shouts of “Ampa!”, “Mo ni kasa!”, “Enoa nono!” et cetera.

But, whilst Amakye was making his speech, Opanyin Hevon Huge had spilled away to Auntie Esi’s apampam store, the one near the chop bar she used to operate years ago. Oh, you should remember it. Close to Ayima’s night stand where he does his kyebom. Yes, that one. Opanyin Huge went there and got the same refined dinart for twenty-nine cowries. As soon as he got it, he started running to the village square too. Running paa o, like Zacchaeus ran. He ran so hard that it had to take aponkye-brake-like skills for him not to miss his stop, right at the bamboo bench on which Amakye stood.

Remember, Papa Helmani and Opanyin Hevon Huge go back a long way. They used to be neighbours and former best friends. Their bestfriendship took a French leave and came back again for a while. Presently, I do know from conversations gleaned that their bestfriendship is under re-construction.

Anyway, the approval grunts of the crowd were interrupted by the piercing shouts of “Helmani lies!” by Opanyin Hevon, as he waved his olonka of refined dinart over his fair head!

Come and see confusion! As I tell you this story, my friend, the villages are just buying and comparing prices of refined dinart all over. And talking about where they bought them from. In the end, the real question in the Need Dough debates might be lost: is the ground hard even though it is raining? Or it is not even raining at all?

In the meantime, the Need Dough debate is helping advertise outlets. Silver lining!

A warning: If you don’t use Need Dough but rather Dinart, and you comment some, may you be afflicted with multiple Sidbugri poxes that will make you exude the result of the vim of boiling beans!

I am enjoying the Need Dough debates. Indeed, in the end, we all need dough.

Goodbye Kwese

My son had been bugging me that all the channels on Kwese were gone. It was only yesterday I had time to follow up for him and then understood the coded text they had sent earlier:

“Kwese TV Will Discontinue Current Offer 1st Nov 2018. New Free Channel Line up to be Available Immediately. Call 0307010888/999 or WhatsApp 0552493511 for info.

“Thank You to All Active Kwese TV Subscribers (up to Oct 31) For Your Support. Please Enjoy 12 Month Free Kwese IFLIX Access in Appreciation.”

Then I went online and saw the confusion. Lol. Mostly reports from Zim portals.

Goodbye, Kwese.

Seems y’all are gagging up on this old duade to try this flexing part of the internet. Netflix, iFlix, so so flexing. I need me some more data muscles to flix and flex too.

Postscript 1

So I reached out to the Kwese Whatsapp number for clarification and got this response:

=========

Hi there! Thank you for contacting Kwese TV. Kwese TV transitioning into the digital streaming world so our Satellite Decoder will house only FTA channels for FREE. To get access to unlimited General Entertainment, you will have to get our new Streaming box which is the Kwese Play. Kwese Play has over 200 streaming channels(Movies, Sports, Doccies, Music, Sports(limited), Kids, Gospel, News). Purchasing the Kwese Play box gives you access to 1YR Kwese iflix subscription. Kwese Iflix is a video on demand service that delivers wide variety of sports, movies (African,Bollywood, Ghallywood, Hollywood), Series/Telenovelas). Aside 1Yr free Kwese Iflix subscription, you will also get access to one month free Netflix subscription (Netflix is also video on Demand service that has over 1000s of movies, series, Telenovelas and documentaries)

If you are interested in the Kwese Play and have an active Kwese TV subscription, we will provide you with our new device deducting your active subscription payment from the actual box price. If you need a refund, we will gladly refund your subscription money to you.

Please note that your Kwese TV decoder will have access to FTA channels for FREE without any Subscription. We do apologise for the inconvenience and hope you do stay with us.

====

My comment: Even if I were interested in streaming video live on Ghana data (whose rates are just going up, btw), I wouldn’t buy new box from Kwese. What is the gaurantee that they won’t change their minds again after 6 months and give me an overnight notice?

Postscript 2

More interactions with Kwese via Whatsapp:

Me:

Okay thanks for the feedback. Quite surprised at the abruptness of the cancellation. My kids were as confused as I am. I have no problem with change of strategy but dropping off your customers from 20,000 ft like that is not good. Definitely not staying with Kwese. Cheers.

Kwese Helpline (via Whatsapp):

Hi there! We are very sorry for not notifying our customers earlier. The Kwese TV decoder will have limited channels at an annual minimal fee.

We are in no position to ask you to purchase the new device since we have disappointed our customers but it will be very amazing to acquire the new device since it has tons of kids channels for your amazing kids to watch. Kwese Iflix has hundreds of Kids contents. Purchasing the new box will gift you 1 year Kwese Iflix subscription. We have partnered with Vodafone to provide unlimited streaming package for Kwese Iflix at a minimal fee of 20GHS per month. All you need is either a Vodafone simcard or Fibre Broadband. If you have an active account with is, we will provide you with an option to either ask for a refund or we sell the new device to you at a discounted price.

Reading Spots Book Drive Update 2

Update 2:

One person just donated GHS 450 so have covered 2 more libraries! We have covered 11 libraries now, with 77 books!

7 libraries to go and GHS 1,330 to cover 7 more libraries!

My dearest friend of over 30 years and Providence Preparatory classmate Michael Ohene-Effah has also donated 120 copies of his book to the #ReadingSpots libraries!

Thanks so much, Mike!

Ghana will read again.

Update: Reading Spots Book Drive

Raised enough so far to cover 42 assorted copies of my books. 6 sets of 7 books. Dispatching to Reading Spots this week.

6 libraries covered.

12 more to go.

GHS 2,520 left to go to cover 12 more libraries.

Inbox if you wish to contribute. Check comment link below for initial post:

https://nanaaweredamoah.wordpress.com/2018/08/12/book-drive-for-reading-spots/

Contact me in comments section if you wish to support.

Ghana will read again.

Update:

Three people just donated 720 so have covered 2 more libraries!

9 libraries to go and GHS 1,780 to cover 9 more libraries!

Ghana will read again.

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