Once upon a time, in the land of KwaMan, the natives of the Bibiman forest decided to hold a drinking and thinking bout with their counterparts in the forest across the Talantic river, called Bronikrom . After all, didn’t the elders say that yɛ nom nsa, na yɛ fa adwen? Truly, as we drink, we think at the same time.
Considering that it has been long decided that alternating venues was a good idea, the leaders of both forests decided to hold the drink-think session in Bronikrom. Also, due to the long distance between the two forests, the herdmen of each Bibiman tribe was selected to go on this journey.
However, there arose from the tribe of Bongo a man crying in the wilderness, questioning and lamenting. The Man from Zeh family of the tribe of Bongo wondered whether the food in Bibiman was not enough to feed the herdmen from the two forests, whether the hamlets of Bibiman were not worthy enough to house the Bronikromers and whether enough Bibimanian houses and donkeys could not be marshalled to take the natives of Bronikrom around during the drinking and thinking festival.
“Is this rocket science or common sense? Or something I am missing?” the man from theZeh family of the tribe of Bongo concluded.
All of Bibiman listened and nodded and wondered, not for the first time, where the Zeh man got his wisdom from. Efo Dogbevi was the first to respond: that the love of borborbor precipitated such wisdom from the innermost parts of a man. Teacher Johnson added that it could be the Zeh man’s love for nsempiisms. Obaapanyin Potisaa said it was rather the nectar from the serwaanic well that was making the Zeh man so bold, especially in the year when the entire universe was singing ‘Be Bold!’.
As the Bibiman still reflected in silence, a loud voice, with a high pitch, rose from the heart of the forest. Eyes and heads turned. Few ears could recognise this voice and not many eyes could recollect this face. But his words were to enter the book of legends.
Wofa Kapokyikyi was one of the few who indicated that they knew the owner of the voice and told me that the man was from the Kwa family of the tribe of Meh, from an old family of high priest.
The Kwa man delivered his high words and also wondered why after many years of waiting with serwaanic patience, the Zeh man didn’t hold his return to Bongo to receive the daughter of his father-in-law and swim in the Tonga river of Bongo. The Kwa man wondered whether the kofi brokeman along the banks of River Bongo were not fit for the guests at his nuptial festival and whether the canoes on River Bongo were not deemed worthy to cater to the transport needs of his guests.
“Is this rocket science or common sense? Or something I am missing?” the man from the Kwa family of the tribe of Meh concluded.
Again, all of Bibiman heard and nodded, and wondered whether the men of the Kwa family were related to the Zoom-Zoom.
But as Bibiman reflected in silence, a chemical reaction was slowly taking place. It turned out that according to the laws of manasematics, a punch delivered on social media in the presence of trolls and enabled by the magic of screenshots underwent a chain reaction into a high post.
This was a very high post, which flew high and was shared by many high people who were either high on admiration or on payback vim. My friend Jeffrey Tong put it more sebitically, stating that the post “flew high with the banner of nsempiism across the Talantic oceans and beyond”. Which is true, because when the goat was using its backside to spread semi-solid effluent on the walls of the village’s house, its posterior was also getting painted. In this high post-erio-painting, the nsempiic cover of the nkrataa that Kapokyikyiwofaase penned was an unintended beneficiary.
Many years ago, on the hills of Menya Mewu, a boy who had just arrived in the school that Osagyefo built was asked what his favourite food was. He hadn’t been around too long to know that the delicacies from his village didn’t sound too well in the city and needed some brofolisation when being mentioned. Same reason why Nii Okaitey responded to the same question by saying that his favourite food was corn balls in tweed jacket on a plate of calamari with ogyemma sauce and a guard of honour of sliced shallots. This other boy wasn’t that suave yet. He said his favourite meal was brɔdze dwow (what the Fantis call roasted unripe plantain). His friends started calling him Brɔdze Dwow. But this boy was a fast learner. He decided not to protest the name and fight the teasing. With time, his nickname was upgraded to Brɔdze J and by the time he got to the senior stage of his education, everyone was calling him Senior BJ.
It was on the Menya Mewu Hills that Kapokyikyiwofaase discovered that a tease should expect to be teased. Learning to manage your period under teasing fire was part of the game of learning teasing ropes. To ride the crest and manage the trough and glide the waves.
But this strategy was not employed by the Zeh man who decided to shot from the trough. And the Kwa man countered again.
The KwaMan trajectory then went through block factories, radio studios, Zuckerberg deactivations, back alleys and front alleys. Until the next big thing happened in Sikaman when, as usual, the KwaMan saga was thrown under the conveyor belt that brought the next saga.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Sikaman, a manager of a celeb is planning to rent a Nana Kwame to deliver a high comment so the celeb can block to follow a KwaMan trajectory. Not a bad idea but this is what Wofa Kapokyikyi says: not all animals can run and not be classified as crazy. Indeed, not all celebs who bring their hands close to their heads are called Abodam.
Wofa Kapokyikyi is also drinking and thinking; after all, he is also a person! As for me, I know no rocket science and I am still searching for common sense.
But the Kwa man’s response to the second epistle of the Zeh man had me muddled. He wrote, thus: “Your response fit (sic) into fundamentalist theories of epistemic justification”.
So let me ask a common man’s question o. What is the best way to understand this second response: rocket science or common sense? Or something I am missing?
Till I come your way again with another sebitical, I remain:
Date of Report: 07 December 2014
Please find in link below the detailed report on the Apagya School Project and the full list of contributors and amounts/items donated.
This final progress report captures completed works on Apagya R/C Primary School led by a group of philanthropists on Facebook – DGG – and their friends who donated from around the world. This is a report as at 14th November 2014.
Apagya R/C Primary school is a six unit classroom block that had the roof of three of its classrooms lifted off following a recent rainstorm (during the first half of 2014) with the other classrooms suffering from leakages when it rains. There were also issues with the foundation of the building that demanded attention. The report details the works that was undertaken to resolve issues.
A total amount of GHc 23,074.71 was raised from three main sources (initiators of the idea – DGG, a group of Facebook friends, some citizens of Apagya in the diaspora, friends and acquaintances on and off Facebook) for the project. The total cost of the completed project was GHc 22,466.00 thus leaving a balance of GHc 608.71 as cash at hand to be used for future project(s). There were also contributions in kind from diverse sources: the Apagya community contributed all timber for the works; 3 buckets of emulsion paints was donated by a paint supplier; 40 bags of cement from the DCE; and 10 bags of cement by some Apagya citizens.
Table 1.1 gives a summary of the total funds received as well as what they were used for on the project. Figure 1.1, on the other hand, gives the expenditure pattern of the various work packages in percentage terms.
The scope of works comprised the following: removal of existing roofing sheets and its carpentry; re-roofing of all six classrooms plus headmaster’s office; installation of fascia board; masonry works to foundation and floor screeding; installation of doors and windows; and painting of walls, windows and doors.
Works was started on 26th of August 2014 and completed on the 4th of November 2014. Labour for the roof works, carpentry works, masonry and painting works was freely provided for by artisans in Apagya, with the Project Planning Team providing them food for the days they worked. A group of volunteers – mainly from the DGG Facebook group – from Accra, Obuasi and Kumasi, on National Volunteers day (21st September 2014) visited Apagya to help paint the exterior of the school.
The rehabilitated school was formally handed over to the authorities at a ceremony on the 8th of November 2014 in Apagya. The Project Team, together with a group from the Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology, donated some books and stationary at the ceremony as well.
We are most grateful to all who contributed to this project in one way or the other. We may or may not have met you or known you but be rest assured your money was used for a good cause to give a salient academic environment leading to the grooming of the leaders of tomorrow.
We say THANK YOU to you all!
Full details report: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B679oh6BTVleNnlsZnQ2bDFnRWM/view?usp=sharing
List of contributors and amount/items donated: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B679oh6BTVleMktCYjFJWjRJRjg/view?usp=sharing